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My Shadow Side

Updated: Jan 3

Shadow work, a term used often when genuinely dealing with the "demons" within. Your therapist has mentioned it, your favorite IG Spiritualist wants you to buy their book on it, HECK! You may even hear me mention it if you are a friend or a client of mine. Shadow work is not about getting rid of the shadow. It is about identifying it, confronting it, balancing it, and managing the change of behavior or how you may react when your shadow is triggered.

This post is highlighting the not-so-great side of myself, with hopes it helps you confront yours.

There is a side to me that is just, eh. It is not depression, lack of self-confidence or self-sabotaging. It is not my fear, mistakes, or regrets. It is an energy that I want to label as "meh", I feel like that is the proper name for it. I do not want to say my shadow is negative energy, but it is not the energy you or I want to dabble with. Now, please, do not be afraid of me in my moment of vulnerability. As a light worker, I deal with the darkness, it comes with the territory of life. When you consciously decide to actively be in the realm and practice, like me, you must not only know that darkness is around, but you too have a dark side, a shadow side.

My shadow is a cluster of various unpleasant things. I can be callous with my words, with the intention to hurt another. I do not like being held accountable for my reactions, actions, and words; when they are justified, I flee from relationship commitments; because when it gets hard, I do not want to do the work to make things better. Now, this is just the first portion of the list. Can you believe writing that out was so hard, it is like, I know this but to see it typed out, it is different.

Now, I am not going into detail behind each statement/shadow confession, but I realized, these shadows have their own shadows. They all stem from events over my lifetime that shaped my shadow side. What I am saying is, a traumatic event can serve as a shadow, just as much as the behavior, thought process or reaction that is now embedded from said event. Please let me know if this sounds crazy, lol. So, not only do I have to confront my shadow side present day, but I also must dive deep to find the root cause of where that darn shadow came from.

So, I ask myself this, "where does this side of you come from?" and I investigate my past, into the archives of memories and I try to pinpoint when that unpleasant side of me became a part of my shadow. Sometimes, it is hard to pinpoint each event, certain behaviors create patterns that you may not be able to find the source of. What is most important is identifying it and figuring out what triggers the shadow to come out, and that can be based on recent occurrences.

Now, your shadow side may be lack of self - worth, laziness, selfishness, people pleasing; Anything you deem unacceptable for your higher self. I encourage you to confront your shadow side, get to know it so that you can balance it. This will help your energy and how you move about earth realm, tremendously. Shadow work is an ongoing journey, there is no journal, no book or person, which will help you defeat it. Those tools and people are only there to hold the mirror up, for you to see that side yourself.

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