My Shadow Side

Shadow work, a term used often when genuinely dealing with the "demons" within. Your therapist has mentioned it, your favorite IG Spiritualist wants you to buy their book on it, HECK. You may even hear me mention it, if you're a friend or client of mine. Shadow work isn't about getting rid of the shadow. It's about identifying it, confronting it, balancing it and managing the change of behavior or how you may react when your shadow is triggered.

This post is highlighting the not-so-great sides of myself, with hopes it helps you confront yours.

There's a side to me that's just, eh. It isn't depression, lack of self-confidence or self-sabotaging. It isn't my fear, mistakes or regrets. It's an energy that I want to label as "meh", I feel like that's the proper name for it. I don't want to say my shadow is negative energy, but it's not the energy you or I want to dabble with. Now, please, don't be afraid of me in my moment of vulnerability. As a light worker, I deal with the darkness, it comes with the territory of life. When you consciously decide to actively be in the realm and practice, like me, you have to not only know that darkness is around, but you too have a dark side, a shadow side.

My shadow is a cluster of various icky things. I can be callous with my words, with the intention to hurt another. I don't like being held accountable for my reactions, actions and words; when I believe their justified, I flee from relationship commitments; because when it gets hard, I don't want to do the work to make things better. Now, this is just the first portion of the list. Can you believe writing that out was so hard, it's almost like, I know this but to see it typed out, it's totally different.

Now, I'm not going into detail behind each statement/shadow confession, but I realized, these shadows have their own shadows. They all stem from events over my lifetime that's shaped my shadow side. Basically, what I'm saying is, a traumatic event can serve as a shadow, just as much as the behavior, thought process or reaction that's now embedded from said event. Please let me know if this sounds crazy, lol. So, not only do I have to confront my shadow side present day, but I also have to dive deep to find the root cause of where that darn shadow came from.

So, I ask myself this, "where does this side of you come from?" and I take a look into my past, into the archives of memories and I try to pinpoint when that icky side of me, became a part of my shadow. Sometimes, it's hard to pinpoint each event, certain behaviors create patterns that you may not be able to find the source of. I think what's most important is identifying it and figuring out what triggers the shadow to come out, and that can be based on recent occurrences.

Now, your shadow side, may be lack of self - worth, laziness, selfishness, people pleasing; Anything you deem unacceptable for your higher self. I encourage you to confront your shadow side, get to know it so that you can balance it. This will help your energy and how you move about earth realm, tremendously. Shadow work is an ongoing journey, there's no journal, no book or person, that will help you defeat it. Those tools and persons are only there to hold the mirror up, for you to see that side yourself.